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Step Six
"We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
We begin working Step Six full of the hope we have developed in the first five steps. If
we have been thorough, we have also developed some humility. In Step Six, "humility"
means that we're able to see ourselves more clearly. We've seen the exact nature of our
wrongs. We've seen how we've harmed ourselves and others by acting on our defects of
character. We've seen the patterns of our behavior, and we've come to understand how we
are likely to act on the same defects over and over. Now we have to become entirely
ready to have our defects of character removed.
Becoming entirely ready won't happen in an instant. It's a long process, often taking place
over the course of a whole lifetime. Immediately following an inventory, we may feel
very ready indeed to have our defects removed. If we've been around awhile and are
generally pretty well aware of what our defects are, and we still act on one of them, we'll
naturally find that our willingness level rises. Awareness alone will never be enough to
ensure our readiness, but it's the necessary first step on the path to readiness. The
inventory process itself has raised our awareness about our character defects; working the
Sixth Step will do so even more. To be entirely ready is to reach a spiritual state where
we are not just aware of our defects; not just tired of them; not just confident that the God
of our understanding will remove what should go-but all these things.
In order to become entirely ready1 we'll need to address our fears about the Sixth Step.
We'll also need to take a look at how our defects will be removed. The Sixth Step says
that only a Higher Power can remove them, but what does that mean in practical terms?
What is our responsibility in the Sixth Step? These questions, when reviewed with a
sponsor, will help give us direction in working this step.
Entirely Ready For What?
If we're new in NA and this is our first experience with the Sixth Step, many of our
character defects will be so blatant that our immediate reaction will likely be one of
overwhelming willingness to get rid of them. We're seeing them for the first time, in all
their glory, so to speak, and we want them gone - today!
Once we've gotten past our initial reaction, we'll find that we probably have at least some
measure of fear or uncertainty about changing. The unknown is terrifying for almost
everyone. We've had the defects we're about to let go of for a long time, probably most of
our lives.
We probably have some fears about what our lives will be like without these defects.
Some of them may seem more like vital survival skills than defects of character. We
wonder if the removal of our defects will inhibit our ability to earn a living. We may find
that the idea of being a "respectable citizen" is repulsive to us. Many of us are strongly
attached to an image -we're cool, we're trendy, we're outside the bounds of polite society,
and we like it that way. We may be afraid that by working the Sixth Step we'll be
changed into dull conformists. Some of us may think that we're nothing but defects, and
wonder what will be left of us if our defects are removed. Our fears are probably vague
and unformed. If we pursue them to their logical conclusion, we're sure to find that they
are unfounded. In other words, if we say them out loud, we can see them for what they
are.
 Are there parts of me I like, but which might be "defects"? Am I afraid I'll turn into
someone I don't like if those parts of my character are removed?
 What do I think will be removed?
If we've had some previous experience with the Sixth Step, our character defects are
nothing new. In fact, we may be feeling dismayed right now that we still have a certain
defect, or we may be upset because we're looking at the same old defect in a new
manifestation.
For instance, we're still insecure. We may no longer run around indulging in a series of
transparent attempts to convince others that we're big shots, but we still have the defect.
The way we've been acting on it lately is far more subtle and far more insidious. We may
have been unconsciously sabotaging the efforts of others so that we can look better by
comparison, or trampling on someone else's desires because they don't directly serve our
own needs. What's especially painful about realizations such as this in later recovery is
that we've tended to think of ourselves in a better light. We're deeply ashamed of harming
others. We may feel a dull fear that we're incapable of change, that one character defect
or another is here to stay. We can draw some measure of comfort from the fact that we're
now aware of what we've been doing and are willing to work on it. We need to maintain a
sense of hope and trust that the process of recovery works even on the most firmly
entrenched defects.
 Do I still believe in the process of recovery? Do I believe I can change? How have I
changed so far? What defects do I no longer have to act on?
 Do I have any defects that I think cannot be removed? What are they? Why do I think
they cannot be removed?
To Have God Remove...
Yes, the Sixth Step specifies that only a Power greater than ourselves can remove our
defects of character. However, the extent to which most of us grasp what that actually
means is directly influenced by how much experience we have with the up-and-down, onagain
off-again struggle and surrender associated with Step Six.
The first thing most of us do about our character defects is decide not to have them.
Unfortunately, this is futile - about as effective as attempting to control our using. We
may have some apparent success for a time, but our defects will eventually resurface. The
problem is that our defects are part of us. We will always be subject to reverting to our
worst character defects in stressful situations.
What we need to do in the Sixth Step is much like what we had to do in the first two
steps. We have to admit that we have been defeated by an internal force that has brought
nothing but pain and degradation to our lives; then, we have to admit we need help in
dealing with that force. We must completely accept the fact that we cannot remove our
own shortcomings, and we must prepare ourselves to ask in the Seventh Step for God to
remove them for us.
 How am I trying to remove or control my own character defects? What have my attempts
resulted in?
 What is the difference between being entirely ready to have God remove my defects of
character and suppressing them myself?
 How am I increasing my trust in the God of my understanding by working this step?
 How does my surrender deepen in this step?
 What action can I take that shows that I am entirely ready?
Our Defects of Character
Even after all the work we've done in the Fourth and Fifth Steps, we're still not entirely
clear at this point about the nature of our defects of character. We're probably wondering
where, precisely, our character defects end and our character begins within the complex
structure of our personality. Why do we do the things we do? Is it someone's fault? When
did we first feel this way? Why? How? Where? If we're not careful, we can become so
self-obsessed that we lose sight of why we're working a Sixth Step. We need to focus our
efforts. Our goal is to raise our awareness of our character defects so that we can become
entirely ready to have them removed, not to analyze their origin or indulge in a bout of
self-absorption.
Our character defects are indicators of our basic nature. We are likely to find that we
have the same basic nature as anyone else. We have needs, and we try to get them met.
For instance, we need love. How we go about getting love is where our defects come into
play If we lie, cheat, or harm others and degrade ourselves to get love, we are acting on
defects. As defined in It Works: How and Why, our defects are basic human traits that
have been distorted by our self-centeredness. With our sponsor's help, we need to list
each defect we have, describe the ways in which we act on it, look at how it affects our
lives, and, very importantly, find out what we're feeling when we practice it. Imagining
what our life would be like without each defect will help us see that we can live without
them. Some of us take practical action by finding out what the opposite spiritual principle
would be for each character defect.
 List each defect, and give a brief definition of it.
 In what ways do I act on this defect?
 When I act on this defect, what effect does it have on myself and others?
 What feelings do I associate with this defect? Am I trying to suppress certain feelings by
acting on certain defects?
 What would my life be like without this behavior? Which spiritual principle can I apply
instead?
Spiritual Principles
In the Sixth Step, we will focus on commitment and perseverance, willingness, faith and
trust, and self-acceptance.
At this point in our Sixth Step work, we should be acutely aware of our shortcomings. In
fact, we're probably so aware of them that, in the course of our daily lives, we can see
them coming and even stop ourselves from acting on them much of the time. At times,
our awareness may fade, and we may no longer be as vigilant in watching our behavior. It
takes an incredible amount of energy to monitor ourselves every second and curb every
impulse to act out. We'll relax into everyday life until, all of a sudden, we'll be left feeling
sick and ashamed and wondering how, after all the work we've done, we could have
possibly done that again.
However, we do not give up. Instead, we make a commitment to our recovery. We
maintain our newly emerging principles despite our setback. We keep taking steps
forward even though we've taken one or more backward. We're looking for gradual
improvement, not instant faultlessness.
 How am I demonstrating my commitment to recovery today?
 By working the first five steps, I have persevered in my recovery. Why is this quality so
vital to the Sixth Step?
Applying the spiritual principle of willingness means, very simply, that we are willing to
act differently. It does not necessarily mean that we will act differently or even that we're
capable of doing so. We can perhaps best illustrate this attitude by an example. Suppose
we've been dishonest- with our families, with our employers, with our friends - in many
ways, ranging from the minor to the severe. While it may seem better to become willing
in "layers," focusing our willingness on the worst or most destructive forms of dishonesty
first, this step says that we were entirely ready to have all our defects removed. That
means being willing never to be dishonest again, even in a minor way. This may seem
like more than we can expect of ourselves, but we only have to do it for today.
It's hard to have this kind of willingness, especially when the apparent consequences for
mild dishonesty aren't so severe. We may be aware that we're not being entirely honest,
but we think we're not hurting anyone and we're getting away with it, so why be
concerned about it? But it's this kind of thinking that has perhaps the most severe spiritual
consequences. It may turn out that no one is obviously harmed by our dishonesty, and
that no one ever finds out, but the dishonesty reverberates in our spirits from then on.
Even if we're not consciously aware of it, even if we sleep just fine at night, the result of
acting on a defect when we have the ability not to is an impairment of our spiritual
growth. If we continue being unwilling, we'll eventually paralyze our spiritual growth.
 Am I willing to have all my defects of character removed at this time? If not, why not?
 What have I done to show my willingness today?
The amount of willingness we have to develop in this step requires a corresponding
amount of faith and trust. We have to believe that a Higher Power is going to work in our
lives to the exact degree that's necessary. Continuing with the example of dishonesty, we
have to trust that our Higher Power isn't going to remove the defect of dishonesty from
our lives to such a degree that we become brutally honest, incapable of remaining silent
even when speaking the truth would hurt someone. As long as we get out of the way so
that God can work in our lives, we'll experience the exact degree of spiritual growth we
need.
 To what degree is my fear of what I will become still present? Has it diminished since I
began working this step?
 How am I increasing my trust in the God of my understanding by working this step?
With words like "entirely" and "all" playing such a prominent role in this step, it's easy to
become overly self-critical and perfectionistic. We need to remember that even though
our willingness must be complete, we're not going to become perfect-not today, not ever.
When we act out on a defect against our will, we need to practice the principle of selfacceptance.
We need to accept that while we're still capable of acting out, we're also still
willing to change; with that acknowledgment, we renew our commitment to be changed.
We've grown exactly as much as we were supposed to for today, and if we were perfect,
we would have no further need to grow.
 Do I accept myself today? What do I like about myself? What has changed since I've
been working the steps?
Moving On
We may have had fleeting glimpses in the past of what we could become - maybe during
childhood, maybe during our active addiction. We probably thought either that life didn't
put us in a place where we could become what we dreamed of, or that we were just
innately incapable of rising to a higher place. We may once have dreamed of money, or
status, or position. In the spiritual program of Narcotics Anonymous, we're more
concerned with spiritual growth. We want to think about qualities we wish we had, or
about other people we know in recovery who have qualities we wish to emulate.
As we work this step, we begin developing a vision of the person we'd like to become. If
we have been selfish, we probably have a vision of becoming selfless, maybe by helping
another addict find recovery or by some other act of selfless giving. If we've been lazy,
we may see ourselves becoming productive and reaping the rewards of our efforts. If
we've been dishonest, we may have a dream of the freedom that can be ours when we no
longer have to spend so much time worrying about being found out. We want to get from
this step a vision of ourselves and a sense of hope that we can attain that vision.
 What do I see myself doing with the qualities I wish to attain? What will I do with my
career? What will I do in my spare time? What kind of parent, child, partner, or friend
will I be? Be specific.
This vision can be our inspiration. Recalling it during the times when we feel despair, or
when it seems to be taking a long time to reach our goals, will sustain us and help us
renew our willingness. Our vision is our springboard into Step Seven, where we'll ask the
God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings.
Step Seven
"We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
Though each of the Twelve Steps is a separate process unto itself, they all blend together
to some degree as their parts interact with one another - aspects of Step One fusing into
Step Two, components of Step Four meshing into the following steps. Perhaps the finest
line between two steps is the one between Steps Six and Seven. At first glance, Step
Seven may seem almost an afterthought to Step Six. We spent a great deal of time and
effort raising our awareness of our character defects in Step Six and getting to the point
where we were entirely ready to have them removed; now all we need to do is ask, right?
Not exactly. There's much more to this step than just filing a request with our Higher
Power and waiting for a response. There's spiritual preparation. There's the need to
develop an understanding about what "humbly" means in this context. There's the need to
find a way of asking that fits into our individual spiritual paths. And there's the need to
practice spiritual principles in the place of character defects.
Preparing To Work Step Seven
We've already done much of the spiritual preparation we'll need to begin Step Seven. It's
important that we draw the connection between the work we've done and the results that
work has produced.
The previous steps have all served to sow the seeds of humility in our spirits. In this step,
those seeds take root and grow. Many of us have difficulty with the concept of humility,
and while we began addressing this issue in Step Six, it merits attention in Step Seven,
too. We need to understand what humility is for ~s and how its presence is revealed in
our lives.
We should not confuse humility with humiliation. When we are humiliated, we are
ashamed; we feel worthless. Humility is almost the complete opposite of this feeling.
Through working the steps, we've been stripping away layers of denial, ego, and selfcenteredness.
We have also been building a more positive self-image and practicing
spiritual principles. Before, we couldn't see our strengths because the good, healthy part
of us was hidden behind our disease. Now we can. That is humility. Some examples of
how humility is often revealed may help us understand this concept.
We started out in recovery with fixed ideas. Since we've been in recovery, everything we
believed in the past has been challenged. We've been barraged with new ideas. For
instance, if we believed we were in control, just the fact that we've wound up in NA
admitting our powerlessness was probably enough to change our outlook. Because of our
addiction, we failed to learn the lessons that life itself would have taught us about how
much control one individual has. Through our abstinence and the working of the first six
steps, we have learned a great deal about how to live.
Many of us came to NA with a certain "street" mentality. The only way we knew to get
what we wanted was by approaching it indirectly and manipulating people. We didn't
realize that we could just be forthright and have the same chance, if not better, of
fulfilling our needs. We spent years learning to blank our facial expressions, hide our
compassion, and harden ourselves. By the time we arrived in NA, we were very good at
it-so good, in fact, that novice addicts were probably looking to our example the same
way we looked to older addicts when we first started using. We learned to suppress all
humanity and became, in many cases, completely inhuman.
Removing ourselves from the arena in which such games are played exposed us to new
ideas. We learned that it was okay to have feelings and to show them. We found out that
the rules of the street only made sense on the street; in the real world, they were crazy
and often dangerous. We became softer, more vulnerable. We no longer mistook
kindness for weakness.
Changing these attitudes has a dramatic effect. Oftentimes, it even changes our physical
appearance. Knotted brows and jaws relax into smiles. Tears flow freely out, uncovering
our drowning spirit.
Many of us arrived in NA convinced that we were victims of bad luck, unfavorable
circumstances, and conspiracies to thwart our good intentions. We believed we were
good people, but profoundly misunderstood. We justified any harm we caused as selfdefense,
if we were capable of realizing that we caused harm at all. Feelings of self-pity
went hand-in-hand with that attitude. We reveled in our suffering, and we secretly knew
that the payoff for our pain was never, ever having to look at our part in anything.
But the first six steps get us to begin to do just that-we look at our part in things. Once we
thought that certain situations happened to us; now we see how those situations were
really created by us. We become aware of all the opportunities we've wasted. We stop
blaming other people for our lot in life. We begin to see that where we've ended up has
been determined mostly by the choices we've made.
Humility is a sense of our own humanness. If this is our first experience with the Seventh
Step, this may be the point when we first feel a sense of compassion for ourselves. It's
deeply moving to realize for the first time that we're truly just human and trying our best.
We make decisions, both good and bad, and hope things turn out okay. With this
knowledge about who we are, we also realize that just as we're doing our best, so are
other people. We feel a real connection with others, knowing that we're all subject to the
same insecurities and failings and that we all have dreams for the future.
Now we need to acknowledge our own humility and explore how it makes itself known
in our everyday lives.
 Which of my attitudes have changed since I've been in recovery? Where has the
overblown been deflated, and where has the healthy part of me been uncovered?
 How does humility affect my recovery?
 How does being aware of my own humility help when working this step?
Our work in the previous steps has helped us build a relationship with a God of our own
understanding. That work will pay off in a big way as we proceed with Step Seven. In
Step Two, we first began to think about a Higher Power that could help us find recovery
from our addiction. From there, we went on to make our Third Step decision to trust our
Higher Power with the care of our will and lives. We called upon that Power many times
to get us through Step Four, and then in the Fifth Step shared with that Power the most
intimate details of our lives. In Step Six, we discovered that the God of our understanding
could do more for us than just keep us clean.
 How has my understanding of a Higher Power grown in the previous steps? How has my
relationship with that Power developed?
 How has my work on the previous steps made me ready to work the Seventh Step?
Asking To Have Our Shortcomings Removed
So how do we ask the God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings? The
answer is likely to depend a great deal on what kind of understanding we have of God.
There are many, many different ways to understand God, so many that we couldn't
possibly provide examples in this guide of how each person's individual spiritual path
would influence his or her Seventh Step work. Suffice it to say that our step work should
reflect our own spiritual paths.
As individuals, we might pick a particular personal routine or ritual as our way of asking
our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. For the purposes of this guide, we will
call that prayer." The word "prayer is widely accepted in our fellowship as a description
of the way we communicate with our Higher Power. The tone of asking is captured in the
word "humbly." Coming from the place in ourselves that is most honest, the place that's
closest to our spiritual center, we ask to have our shortcomings removed.
 How will I ask the God of my understanding to remove my shortcomings?
 Can other recovering addicts help me figure out how I'm going to ask? Have I asked them
to share their experience, strength, and hope with me? Have I asked my sponsor for
guidance?
As with any other aspect of our program, we're not going to ask just once to have our
shortcomings removed. We'll ask again and again throughout our lifetimes. The way we
ask is certain to change as our understanding of God changes. Nothing we do at this point
locks us into one way of working the Seventh Step forever.
Getting Out Of The Way
Most of us realize that we probably need to do something more in this step than just pray
for our shortcomings to be removed. We need to take some action that will invite the God
of our understanding to work in our lives. We can't ask God to remove a shortcoming,
then hang on to it with all our might. The more distance we keep between ourselves and
our Higher Power, the less we will feel that Power's presence. We have to maintain the
awareness of ourselves that we gained in the Sixth Step, and add to it an awareness of
God working in our lives.
 How does the spiritual principle of surrender apply to getting out of the way so a Higher
Power can work in our lives?
 What might be the benefits of allowing a Higher Power to work in my life?
 How do I feel, knowing that a Higher Power is caring for me and working in my life?
Spiritual Principles
In the Seventh Step, we will focus on surrender, trust and faith, patience, and humility.
In the Seventh Step, we take our surrender to a deeper level. What began in Step One
with an acknowledgment of our addiction now includes an acknowledgment of the
shortcomings that go along with our addiction. We also take our Second Step surrender to
a deeper level. We come to believe that our Higher Power can do more than help us stay
clean. We look to that Power to relieve us of our shortcomings as well. As time goes by,
we place more and more of our trust in a Higher Power and in the process of recovery.
 Have I accepted my powerlessness over my shortcomings as well as my addiction?
Expand on this.
 How has my surrender deepened?
The spiritual principles of trust and faith are central to the Seventh Step. We must be sure
enough of our Higher Power to trust that Power with our shortcomings. We have to
believe our Higher Power is going to do something with them, or how can we ask with
any faith that they be removed? We must avoid any tendency to keep score of how we
think God's doing in removing our defects. It's not too hard to see where this kind of
thinking can lead if we find we still have certain character defects after some arbitrary
amount of time has passed. Instead, we focus on the action we must take in this step:
humbly asking, practicing spiritual principles, and getting out of God's way. The results
of the Seventh Step may not materialize immediately, but they will in time.
 Do I believe that my Higher Power will remove my shortcomings or grant me freedom
from the compulsion to act on them? Do I believe that I'll be a better person as a result of
working this step?
 How does my faith in the God of my understanding become stronger as a result of
working this step?
Trust and faith alone can never carry us through a lifetime of working this step; we need
to practice patience, too. Even if it's been a long time since we started asking for the
removal of a shortcoming, we still must be patient. Maybe, in fact, impatience is one of
our shortcomings. We can look at the times when we have to wait as gifts - the times
when we most need to practice the principle of patience. After all, one of the surest ways
we progress is by rising up over the barriers we run into on our spiritual path.
 Where have I had opportunities for growth lately? What did I make of them?
Finally, we need to maintain our awareness of the principle of humility, more than any
other, as we work this step. It's fairly easy to see if we're approaching this step with
humility by asking ourselves a few questions:
 Do I believe that only my Higher Power can remove my shortcomings? Or have I been
trying to do it myself?
 Have I become impatient that my shortcomings haven't been removed right away, as soon
as I asked? Or am I confident that they will be removed in God's time?
 Has my sense of perspective been out of proportion lately? Have I begun thinking of
myself as more significant or more powerful than I really am?
Moving On
At this point, we may wonder how we're supposed to be feeling. We've asked the God of
our understanding to remove our shortcomings; we've faithfully practiced the principles
of our program to the best of our ability; but we may still find ourselves acting out before
we've had a chance to think, and always struggling with our defects. Sure, we're no
longer using, and many of the outside circumstances of our lives have probably gotten
better - our relationships are more stable, perhaps - but have we changed? Have we
become better people?
In time, we'll find that God has worked in our lives. We may even be startled by the level
of maturity or spirituality we've demonstrated in handling a situation that in years past
would have had us acting very unspiritual. One day, we'll realize that some of the ways
we used to act have become as alien as spiritual principles were when we first started
practicing them.
After such a revelation, we may begin thinking about the person we were when we first
came to NA and how little we resemble that person now.
 Have there been times when I've been able to refrain from acting on a character defect
and practice a spiritual principle instead? Do I recognize this as God working in my life?
 Which shortcomings have been removed from my life or diminished in their power over
me?
 Why does the Seventh Step foster a sense of serenity?
We begin to live more spiritual lives. We stop thinking so much about what we're going
to get, even from our recovery, and start looking at how we can contribute. The things we
do to sustain and nourish our spirits become habits; we may even look forward to them.
We find that we're free to choose how we want to look at any situation in our lives. We
stop grumbling about small inconveniences as if they were major tragedies. We become
able to hold up our heads with dignity and maintain our integrity, no matter what life
presents us. As we begin to get more comfortable with our spiritual selves, our desire to
heal our relationships will grow. We begin that process in Step Eight.